camino de santiago, portugal

all for love?
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so my friends… many times this summer (spent on pilgrimage in france, portugal, and places i never expected to be) i found myself sitting with SO many questions; so much noise. and honestly, it all kept coming back to my restless heart asking that classic question i can’t seem to escape…why, god? why am i here? the lack of a 10-year-plan kind of answer perhaps is just where god wants to have me. if i had all the answers, wouldn’t i just make these answers my god instead?
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but after all the questions burned their course through my heart, i was left the the silence of a forest after a fire. or for another metaphor, i was left with the stillness of the sea after a raging storm. and onto those glassy waters, the lord called. it was very simple, very gentle. “do you trust me?”
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isn’t trust a yes to step out onto the sea without all the answers? without knowing if i could float? without knowing if i will be peter or the woman of great faith who poured out all her oil?
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when mary said yes, she said yes to the little. she said yes to quiet moments where she sat with the little life literally forming within her. she said yes to slow afternoons and household chores. she said yes to mending and sewing and simple silly conversations. she said yes to life and death, pain and glory and simplicity and royalty. she said yes without knowing ANY of it. all she knew was that she said yes to love. all for love.
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but my friends, if there’s anything this summer taught me, that’s that love finds us first. love found me on a crowded 16 hour bus ride. it found me singing in a street corner with musicians from four different countries. it found me learning guitar from a homeless man. it found me sleeping on the street with friends who became family. it found me in the silence of a chapel in front of jesus’ heart. all for love proceeds from the realization that it’s all FROM love- the love who loved me before i knew what love was.
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all from love.